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Friends Only

After some negative incidents I've had with people trolling my journal, I've decided to make everything friends only. If you'd like to be added, please comment, and let me know how you found me. :)

Also, please note that I have a filter system for posts. When you comment, please let me know which you'd like to be on. I reserve the right to not put you on one if I'm uncomfortable but I will certainly take everything into account. I put everyone on the Life/General, Writing, and Health filters by default.
  • Life/General
  • Writing
  • Health
  • Sex and BDSM
  • Feminism
  • World of Warcraft / Gaming
  • Fat Acceptance and Mental Illness
  • Family Issues
  • Childfree
  • Paganism
So, I have a friend I was talking to, and she sent me a piece of writing about herself. It fit autism to a T, and I passed her the RDOS Autism test that I used to help figure out that I needed to talk to my psych about a diagnosis. My friend is going to be talking to her therapist, but I told her I'd ask my friends list because I know so many folks who are neurodiverse.

Do folks have any links or resources they'd recommend for adulting/social skills for a 19 year old young woman currently living with her parents? I've given her some search terms, but I know she'd very much appreciate any stuff that's "vetted" by neurodiverse folks.

Also, she is on my friends list on Dreamwidth, so if you are able to post those links there, that would be helpful. Any written advice in comments are also appreciated. I'm going to toss this public so that folks who I don't also have friended on Dreamwidth can click the link at the bottom of the post here and go forth and comment.

Love y'all!

This entry was originally posted at http://nonny.dreamwidth.org/554460.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
My friend "Kit" is a trans woman in dire need of temporary housing. She is recovering from complications of major surgery, along with a "surprise" blood clot. Just as she got back on her feet, she was let go in a round of company lay-offs earlier this month.

Kit has to be out of her current residence by May 9th. She has a rental lined up to move into June 1st, but she has nowhere else to go during the time between. As a trans woman, options like homeless shelters are extremely dangerous and not an option.

This is why I'm asking for help. Kit needs a queer/trans-friendly place to crash between May 9th and June 1st. She has money to cover food for herself and other personal necessities during her stay.

Other things of note: Kit has no pets and is severely allergic to cats. She is also allergic to cigarette smoke, which causes breathing issues and migraines -- but, she's noticed she's okay if people smoke outside. She's 420-friendly.

Kit has no special requirements when it comes to sleeping arrangements; she's fine with a bed, a couch, or even a sleeping bag on the floor. The WiFi password so she can job hunt on her laptop would be great, too. ;)

Kit lives in the Denver/Boulder/Longmont area.

If anybody is able to assist with space for her to get on her feet again, please contact Kit at helpkitnow@gmail.com.

Thanks all! Please signal boost!

This entry was originally posted at http://nonny.dreamwidth.org/550276.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

[Life/General] Ma Ham close to death

So, my maternal grandmother is in hospice care. She's had congestive heart failure, multiple strokes, and is currently having what they suspect are multiple mini strokes. She might live a few days, or up to 7-10, but not likely beyond that. My Uncle Ron has made the smartass comments that she'd probably go on one of my aunts' birthdays out of spite (they've passed), and I've made the comment that it'd be like her to pick Valentine's Day. This is a combination of the gallows humor that the family has developed as a coping mechanism and some pretty deep-seated hatred.

I'm mostly staying quiet on Facebook because some of my aunts are taking it hard, as far as I can tell. I... okay, the rest is going to have to go beyond a cut, but in case folks are not up for reading this, I don't want condolences. I want fucking congratulations.

cut for child abuse, rape, child sexual abuse, serious trauma, animal murder, I am running out of things but this woman is really a terrible person and this IS GOING TO BE REALLY FUCKING TRIGGERING SHIT I DO WARN YOU, PLEASE, PLEASE OF ALL TIMES, BELIEVE MECollapse )

This entry was originally posted at http://nonny.dreamwidth.org/548812.html. Please comment there using OpenID.


C&P from FB because I wrote a post nearly as long as I would've here.

We're in a bad state right now. We had been getting $700/mo in rent assistance, and we abruptly found out that it was canceled. On Scott's income alone, we run $200 over budget, and that's only bills, and it doesn't count household necessities like shampoo, toilet paper, menstrual supplies... cat food and litter...
We are desperate. I don't know how to pay rent, and our housing is at risk, plus our other utilities. I am terrified, and I do not know how we are going to make it through the next few months until tax return hits and we can use that to pad things out a bit. I have made a lifelong habit of paying it forward, and if anyone is able to aid myself and my family in our time of need, I cannot put into words how grateful we would be. In addition, we have several rewards for those who might want to contribute and get a little something out of it. I've done Tarot readings for years, and I am offering multiple types. I am also offering the chance to have a minor or major Tuckerization (character named after you, or choice of name) for my forthcoming work. I am also offering personalized stories of 1k-10k words, including character names if desired, preferred tropes, and more; this will, of course, require discussion.

Scott, who has been doing chainmail for 20+ years, is offering several types of jewelry (and a wallet chain that could almost double as a weapon) in hypo-allergenic titanium. I will be posting an update with a photo of my chainmail bikini top as an example of his work. He is extremely good at what he does.
If you can help in any way, please, it would be very appreciated. Any little bit helps. If you are unable to help, please share this post; it's public, so it can be. There is also more information about our situation in the GoFundMe introduction itself.

Thank you for whatever you are able to do. We all appreciate it, no matter how small or how large. Please do not feel bad if you are unable to contribute financially; this is a tight time of year for many people financially due to holidays, and I understand that well. Signal boosts and sharing are just as important as financial contributions. Again, thank you all, and I love you. Yes, even those I don't know personally who may have seen this shared. I love you for reading this, and for whatever you may do. Blessed be.

GoFundMe link is here.

This entry was originally posted at http://nonny.dreamwidth.org/547968.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
I'm re-posting this from [personal profile] stormerider, who is, yes, my ex, but we're on good terms. We are not in a good position to help overly much financially, unfortunately. I just applied for SNAP, and was able to get on that immediately, but I need some more information for the state disability cash benefits, so I am teh brokez. If you can toss a few bucks their way, awesome, if not, please boost the signal! Thank you, lovelies! <3

From [personal profile] stormerider @ Dreamwidth:

Permission to share granted (and welcomed!):


About me: I'm a 30ish disabled (severe arthritis, I'm on Cimzia amongst other meds) genderqueer sysadmin in the Olympia area.

So over the last few months, I broke up with my wife, and ended up moving out of the house that we were renting (from her in-laws). Nothing major, just the usual moving stress and breakup stress. We get along well.

I moved into a new apartment in downtown Olympia with my roommate Boo, who is going to college at nearby SPSCC. The commute from the new apartment to the college is negligible at best.

Fast forward a bit; I ended up losing my job through some boneheaded mistakes of my own. While I'm not trying to excuse the mistakes I made, I have a feeling that the medication I was on for the dental surgery (I had all my remaining top teeth yanked and replaced with a denture) and the medical marijuana I've been smoking for my arthritis pain helped contribute to that... lowering inhibitions and helping me forget key details I should have kept in mind, especially with the emotional rollercoaster I was on. It's still my responsibility the way things turned out, but there are reasons, even if they aren't excuses.

I'm going to be relocating, and living with a lovely transwoman. However, I still haven't gotten stuff from my old employer like my termination paperwork (which means no SNAP/food stamps until that comes through) and shipping containers so I can mail back the company property that I have (laptop, desk phone, mobile phone, router).

The new apartment also includes a $500 pet deposit (on top of a $300 roommate deposit), and I really can't function without my support kitty Ras. (She's not legally a therapy pet, but serves as one in many ways for me.) Any assistance with that would be greatly appreciated, further assistance will help me with a bigger buffer while I wait on SNAP and look for jobs and keep paying for my medications.

This entry was originally posted at http://nonny.dreamwidth.org/543854.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

[Unfiltered] On Beauty

This is long, but I am not cutting it for a reason. I am not cutting it because it is something that needs to be heard.

I had a conversation with somebody close to me the other day about the definition of beauty. I was in a bad way, and my rare self-consciousness about my body was coming to the forefront. I was looking for reassurance from my friend, and I realized quickly we were using completely different definitions of the word "beauty."

He was using it in the more traditional, conventional sense, as in celebrity beauty. I pointed out that definition of beauty has its issues; it's often racist, sexist, sizeist, and ableist. How often do you see someone in a wheelchair, or with some sort of congenital deformity, referred to as beautiful? How often do you see a significantly plus sized woman described as beautiful? People with disabilities are hardly known in the Hollywood scene; the only actress that comes to mind is Teal Sherer, best known for playing Venom on The Guild, and she has an entire webseries about her experiences in acting as a woman with a disability. Tess Munster is made fun of all the time for her weight. Lupita Nyong'o, who is in my opinion utterly gorgeous, is often called ugly or worse because she's "too black". Natalie Dormer is often criticized and called snobbish or stuck-up or ugly because of her cute little smirk-smile; she's interviewed and said that it's just the way she smiles naturally, and that she has a great deal of trouble smiling any other way. And people call her ugly for this. Jennifer Lawrence has been called fat and ugly because she has somewhat broad shoulders, upper arms that are obviously muscular, and a slightly "non-standard" (by Hollywood standards) torso.

These women have one thing in common: They are all beautiful. But by conventional beauty standards, and the commonly used definition of the word, they are not. This is a problem.

I then described my definition of the word "beauty" to my friend. It goes something like this:

For me, beauty is... the way you catch yourself glimpsing at someone, because there's something about them that you're attracted to, and you find yourself looking at them, not even consciously, just to look, to see these things, to appreciate them, and the person within the body. One of my ex-girlfriends had Bell's Palsy and never fully recovered; she can only smile with half her mouth. It's adorable and beautiful. That's where my habit of smiling with one half of my mouth comes from; I found it so delightful that I unconsciously mimicked it. I think of the Pacific Islander trans woman I met in college, who was very out but self-conscious of her body because she wasn't on hormones yet. I remember the shade of her skin, especially when the sunlight shone on it, the curve of her hips, and the way she walked so confidently despite her self-consciousness. It's the way her smile would reach her brown eyes and they'd just sparkle with life and laughter and love. It's the way she tilted her head thoughtfully, and the way she'd shake her hair back and forth, and the tinkling of the bells she wove into them. I swear I spent half that class surreptitiously catching glances, and I wish now I had told her how beautiful she was, because I'm not sure she ever realized it.

My fiance -- the way I'll glance over at his long strawberry blonde hair, especially when it's loose, and want to play with it and run my fingers through, or how I'll watch when his back is turned and appreciate the sleek lines and strong muscles of his back, especially if he's reaching for something and flexing. It's the aqua-turquoise color of his eyes that I can't look away from, even though I'm autistic and have always had issues with eye contact. It's my ex-girlfriend's surgical scar, reaching from belly to breast, where she nearly died and survived even though everyone told her she wasn't going to live; it's beautiful because it's a representation of her strength and survival. My fiancee has acne marks that she is deeply self-conscious of, and I run my fingers 'cross her face and feel the texture like tiny cobblestones, which is ambrosia to my fingertips. It's when I look into her captivating, intelligent eyes and bask in her laugh that spreads through the room and all the places in my heart and makes me want to laugh too even if I didn't get the joke. My fiancee's husband, who is what the medical establishment would call "morbidly obese", is beautiful in the way he holds himself with confidence, and I love to hug and snuggle him, feeling him squish against me and loving all of him, and his quick wit and intelligence, his long brown hair and the way it falls into his face if it's not pulled back, and the way his smile lights up and spreads through his cheeks, like he's hiding a secret but he'll tell you if you only ask.

These are the things that make someone "beautiful" to me. It's not about weight, body type, skin color, gender, ability or disability; it's not about any of these things. It's about the unique nature of every individual, and all the tiny things you notice and can't take your eyes away from, that make you want to luxuriate in their presence and never stop, that make you wish you could tell them how very beautiful they are, even if they're someone you don't even know. This is beauty.

And you there. Yes, you, reading this. You're beautiful too. You might not be able to see it in yourself; gods alone know how much I have struggled with this myself, being a larger woman and disabled. I have fought my own doubts and demons for years, and it was only when I discussed this with my friend that I realized I was talking about these men and women I have loved either close or from afar, and considered them beautiful, yet I did not apply my own definition to myself. That is a battle I won just yesterday. I'm sure it won't be the last. But I cannot in good conscience hold others to a definition that I am not willing to claim myself. So I say this: I am beautiful. And you: You are beautiful, too, even if you scoff and think you're too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, too dark, too pale, too "weird", too "much", too anything, even if you read this and wonder, How could anyone ever think me beautiful? I know you're probably thinking that, because I've thought things like that all my life.

Well, I'll tell you this. I think you're beautiful, because there is beauty in all of us, and it deserves to be recognized. If no one in your life has recognized it, you have my sadness and my anger at those who have refused to see the truth: You are beautiful. And while it may be hard, I hope you'll believe me, or at least give my words a bit of consideration. And I hope you'll pass this on, because this is a message I believe everyone deserves to hear.

This entry was originally posted at http://nonny.dreamwidth.org/542110.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

[unfiltered] Still short on med money

I posted about this before, but I'm still short on money for my medication. I at this point need about $150 by the end of October. The money that my ex is sending me for medication will HAVE to be used as rent money, because my current partner only gets paid once a month, on the 15th, and because he didn't get out of training until the end of Sept, we are going to be short on money for rent in November. Thus, my med money is going to need to go to... having a place to live.

So, I put out the hat again. My PayPal address is mistressnonny@gmail.com. Any little bit is appreciated, as are signal boost. Love you guys! <3

This entry was originally posted at http://nonny.dreamwidth.org/527645.html. Please comment there using OpenID.


[Life/General] Rent Fundraiser Update

So, I have raised about $220. THANK YOU EVERYONE. It turns out Morgan will be able to pay the $600 this month that I am supposed to get for medication costs, so that will... almost cover rent.

What I need to raise at this point is probably about $200, because it's not quite rent, plus I have medications that will need refilled... at the beginning of the month, and they add up. This is a MUCH easier goal to reach than the full $850. Again, any little bit helps, even a $5 or $10. Seriously. It adds up.

If you're able to help, awesome; if you're not please signal boost? Here is the following altered text:

[personal profile] nonnycat is in a bit of a pickle. She now has (almost enough) money to cover rent, but not enough for medication that she needs to control a chronic pain disorder. These medications, even with insurance, come up to about $200. If anybody is able to help, her paypal address is mistressnonny@gmail.com, and it will be greatly appreciated. Signal boosts are also appreciated!

This entry was originally posted at http://nonny.dreamwidth.org/527371.html. Please comment there using OpenID.


Because of various circumstances, my poly-family (which include four disabled people, myself included, who have not been able to get on disability) are going to be short on rent for November. The one able-bodied member of the household gets paid the 15th of each month, and while we have the money to cover October rent and expenses, we are starting at a deficit because of how long his training took (about two months).

The main reason for the deficit is because my poly-family moved cross-country to be closer to us (myself and my now former partner), and have better job opportunities (and S, who can work, is definitely making a lot more than back east). However, they weren't able to find housing because nobody would rent to someone who was in training and had no income as of yet. The time spent in a residence hotel while trying to house-hunt, and then, to apartment-hunt, which turned out to be successful, depleted a significant portion of reserves. We've been managing to squeak by since but we are squeaking our last squeak.

Rent is $850. I know a lot of my flist doesn't have a lot of money themselves, so even when I have been in bad positions before, I haven't wanted to ask. My former partner won't have the money, and I wouldn't feel comfortable asking them anyway as we are in the process of separating. My parents also wouldn't be able to help because of their financial situation, and general disapproval of the situation. Their families wouldn't be able (or willing, also due to general disapproval) to help. I have tried to consider every option, and we have not been able to come up with one.

So, I am asking, when I have never asked before, for help. Any little bit that you can spare will be greatly appreciated, and I hate that I have to ask in the first place. Again, rent is $850, and my PayPal address is mistressnonny@gmail.com.

Please signal boost if you wish.

This entry was originally posted at http://nonny.dreamwidth.org/526253.html. Please comment there using OpenID.


At this point, I don't think there's anyone who hasn't heard about Robin Williams's death, ostensibly from suicide. Something that does bother me, perhaps more than the assholes that make comments about suicide being the coward's way out (and if this is something lurking in the back of your head, please read this essay, which is the most excellent I have read on the topic), is that the fact that Williams had bipolar disorder is all but forgotten.

I have bipolar disorder, type 2. This is generally considered the "less severe" type. I have no idea what type Robin Williams had, and it doesn't especially matter, since suicide is a risk factor for both types. I'm not entirely sure what I'm meaning to write here, but the rest is going to go under a cut with a general trigger warning for discussion of bipolar disorder, depression, suicide, coping mechanisms, related etcCollapse )

This entry was originally posted at http://nonny.dreamwidth.org/523237.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
My girlfriend Omi is in need of a new home for her 16 year old (as far as we can guess; she is at least that old, perhaps older) Aussie Shepard, Sadie. She does not wish to rehome Sadie, but we are faced with very few options. At this point, she has had to make the very difficult decision that she can no longer adequately care for Sadie due to disability. We live in the Olympia, WA, area.

Sadie is a lovely dog. She is friendly, easy to get along with, she's awesome with children, no issues with cats, or other animals. She will growl if cats or other animals try to steal her food, but she has never bitten or snapped at the animals, or people.

Here is the problem. She's getting older, and at this point she has a three hour bladder, almost like clockwork. She has always been an indoor dog, and is utterly terrified of the outdoors. We have set up a dog run and despite our best efforts, she has managed to tangle herself in the line regularly. She will do this until someone comes out to untangle her, but upon someone going inside, she will immediately re-tangle herself. She is also Houdini dog and will wiggle out of her harness regularly and try to bury under fences. She must be an indoor dog..

She is also going on a hunger strike. She is scattering her food and refusing to eat. The apartment that Omi and her family have been able to find does not allow dogs, and my rental home does not allow indoor dogs. Even if we could have Sadie indoors, most of our household is disabled and on vacillating sleep schedules. It is simply not possible to arrange to walk her every three hours (or less; it has crept up to every hour at points), especially now that she is not signaling when she needs to be walked.

More minor issues are that she is arthritic, although she does not seem to be in pain. She is deaf in some ranges, but not completely. Prior to Omi and family adopting her, she was raised by a household that did not care for her. This has resulted in a few things, such as she is triggered by men in plaid shirts and baseball caps. She was never properly trained, and by the time Omi adopted her at age five, no amount of training was successful.

Unfortunately, nearly everyone in the household is disabled with chronic pain at this point, with the exception of those who are working and thus do not have time to walk a dog on a three hour schedule. It is simply not possible to give her the care that she needs, as much as we want to. This is not a decision that has been made lightly. She is very loved, and this is breaking my girlfriend's heart, but it is the best for Sadie.

She is very sweet, lovable, and kind. She likes to tuck people in at night, and she protects those she loves. With her age and arthritis, she is not very active, but she is very loving. She is an amazing dog who just needs people who are physically able to meet her needs. There is a video of her here, if you would like to see what she's like.

Again, we are in Olympia, WA. We are willing to drive her to Seattle or Portland (or another city of similar distance, but 2hrs is about the max based on health issues). If anyone is interested, please contact Omi at omimouse@hotmail.com, and please CC her husband Louis at louis.adkins@hotmail.com.

Please re-post and boost the signal if you can. Thank you so much!

This entry was originally posted at http://nonny.dreamwidth.org/519989.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
This post is behind a cut with a trigger warning for child rape and molestation.Collapse )

(And yes, I'm posting this like a month late but my life has been hellish lately, as those who are my friends list can see, and I believe this important enough to still say, especially for those who haven't seen. Blog posts in a way are like flickers of light; their brightness catches attention, but once time passes, the light dims, and what may have once been a huge flame is no longer noticed. This needs to remain noticed. Also, feel free to link this wherever you wish.)

This entry was originally posted at http://nonny.dreamwidth.org/517977.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Emma has a place to stay! Yay! We will be helping her move in next week. However, we have another issue that we need help with, so if folks can signal boost this, I'd very much appreciate it.

The short version:

Does anybody have recommendations for neurologists and rheumatologists in the Seattle area who are willing to work with complicated cases? Also, does anybody know of a low cost psychiatrist specializing in anxiety disorders and bipolar disorder? My friend is in the process of getting insurance through the ACA, but she needs a prescribing doctor immediately, and I can pay up to $100 per session. Please email any recommendations to mistressnonny@gmail.com. Thank you very much for your help!

(Of course, if you are reading this here at my LJ, recommendations in comments are perfectly fine! The e-mail is mainly for signal boosts elsewhere, since I'll be posting this on Tumblr as well. :)

This entry was originally posted at http://nonny.dreamwidth.org/514962.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

[unfiltered] Effexor Recall -- IMPORTANT

Originally posted by ashbet at Effexor Recall (public, shareable)
FYI -- please share this around. I know a lot of people who have taken or are taking Effexor, so this is really important.


#effexor #effexorrecall

This entry was originally posted at http://nonny.dreamwidth.org/514764.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
The short version for signal boosts:

Emma, a trans woman I would describe as an adorable pink-haired geeky queer music nerd, best served with tea, is in desperate need of housing. She just lost her chance out of her abusive family's home. She needs a temporary home, 3-6mo, and while rent-free would be awesome, she can offer $250/mo rent. She is in Western Washington (Seattle-Olympia), and the clock is ticking. Due to our rental agreement, we can't have her past the end of March. If there are any folks in Western Washington who would have space for a lovely trans woman and her computer, please contact epeternally@gmail.com. Signal boosts welcome and requested.

The long version:

A very good friend of mine, Emma, came to visit us, originally to clear out the storage unit her parents have been paying for in order to pack and mail her stuff back east. Her home life is abusive, and her gf whom she was hoping to move in with broke up with her over IM a few days ago. That gf was her hope of moving out of her abusive family's home, and that's now gone. Going back to her family would possibly kill her.

About Emma: An adorable pink-haired geeky queer polyamorous music nerd and gamer girl abuse survivor with chronic pain and mental illness, best served with tea.

She used to live in the WA area, and has supportive trans friends here, but so far the best offer has been a $500/mo room, and she's disabled. She *maybe* could work but it would be iffy at best, and she doesn't trust that her pain condition would allow her to maintain reliable attendance. So, she's looking for other options.

Her ex-gf is offering to pay her $250/mo for living expenses. Needless to say, this is not enough to afford housing. She doesn't have much time, because due to our rental situation, we can't have her here past the end of the month. I am located in Olympia, WA, but anywhere in Western WA would be good. A friend of a friend who is a trans activist in the area (Lonness, who runs a house for trans people in bad situations, except their housing is full atm) suggested getting involved in the local trans groups, but we don't really have time for that, esp if they are in-person groups.

Emma does not have an official diagnosis for her chronic pain condition, so applying for SSI would not help right now. We're hoping to be able to get her on state disability, medical, and food stamps (which is just under $200 for the disability stipend, and just under $200 for food stamps, on top of what her ex is giving), so she can seek out a diagnosis and then either get treatment that helps, or apply for SSI disability if it doesn't. She would not be requiring anyone to pay her way as far as food and living expenses; also, she is willing to help out with household chores, with the caveat of bad pain days. She just needs a place to sleep and set up her computer, in a trans friendly environment.

So, my question: Is there anybody who would be willing to take in a trans woman in a nasty situation? Or, does anyone know of someone who would? Ideally, rent-free would be best, but she is willing to pay the $250 for rent. Once she is on state disability (which is significantly easier to get than SSI), her income would be just under $200, but if that is an issue I can cover the extra $53.

This is not an indefinite situation; she needs somewhere between 3-6mo for Lonness and her network (and for Emma to network herself with the trans community) to find her another option. But as we cannot have her here past the end of the month, this needs to happen soon. Any options? Please feel free to re-post this in any relevant communities, Twitter, Facebook, LiveJournal, wherever you think you would reach possible people to help.

Emma's email: epeternally@gmail.com

This entry was originally posted at http://nonny.dreamwidth.org/514423.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

[Signal Boost] The Shadow Princess

Naamah is one of my dearest friends, and this is how she and her husband make their way -- writing books. I can't say I read very much erotica at this point, but I sure as hell will read theirs because they are awesome stories. Even if I don't get as into the sex as I used to. (Grr, libido, where did you go?)

Please take a look, and if you can't donate, please signal boost!

Originally posted by [personal profile] naamah_darling at post
Bumping again for The Shadow Princess.

We're at about 30% with 15 days left, and while I don't think it's un-doable, it's not looking great for us.  We'd really appreciate whatever you can contribute.  Pick a perk or choose your own amount.

Smooch went to the vet today for a checkup and so they could look at his teeth and eyes.  Eye.

I have never seen a better-behaved cat.  He was utterly calm and cooperative about just about everything, and only squirmed a little when the vet was trying to look in his ears.  Everyone was impressed by his attitude and his majestic bearing.  Yeah.

I'd been worried about him; his breath got especially bad last week, and it smelled like he had a tooth infection, which is why I took him in.  He got an antibiotic shot and some eye drops, and I signed him up for a Banfield plan which means it's paid for itself with bloodwork and the tooth cleaning he will have in two weeks.

Still, I dropped about $130 on him, and while I don't begrudge it, the kitty slush fund is hella depleted now, so donations to the campaign would not be amiss.  Consider helping out, for his hairy, stinky sake.  The Shadow Princess campaign is here.

I'm extraordinarily tired and feel pretty crappy, so I'm going to bail and hope I feel better tomorrow.  I'm sorry, guys, that I've been . . . boring.  Lately.  I realize that I keep making basically the same post, but I keep saying this because I keep feeling rotten about it.  I want there to be more to me than . . . than all this.  I love you all.  Please stay with me.  Y'all are all that's keeping us afloat.

Thank you.  To everyone who has helped, spread the word, or had kind things to say.  Thank you.

One last time, here's the link.  Thank you.

X-posted from Dreamwidth. Comment count: comment count unavailable

This entry was originally posted at http://nonny.dreamwidth.org/514055.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
A perennial question amongst the writing community these days (particularly in post-Racefail SFF) is that of representation. It's heartening to see it as an active topic of discussion, but I think that something that gets lost sometimes is how important it is. I'm many things: pagan, polyamorous, (mostly) lesbian, mentally ill, on the Autism Spectrum, disabled, childfree, gender-questioning, among others. Let me tell you my story.

I grew up in a very Christian household, and a few years of my teen life were tarnished by my Dad getting into Christian Fundamentalism (of the "listening to rock music is signing an implicit contract with Satan for your soul" type, also "music in other languages is secretly witch spells being cast because you can't understand the language" -- let's just say my listening to Rammstein didn't go over well). I was pretty isolated as a child and teen because I was homeschooled and lucky to see another person my own age every six months. This background is important later.

more behind the cut... tw for mentions of depression and suicidal feelingsCollapse )

This entry was originally posted at http://nonny.dreamwidth.org/514044.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
This is from my GF Omi, who I love very dearly, but we can only help so much financially. If we had the money, we would. Also if someone wants to concise-ify for signal boosts, feel free. I don't think I can any more than this. (Also, the medication she is speaking of is psychiatric meds that I get here without a drug test.)

Please take a look at the Indiegogo page, and signal boost if you can!

Originally posted by [personal profile] omimouse at Halp
So. The house. The house is a deathtrap of collapsing floors, rotting studs, leaky ceilings, thick black fuzzy growth, no central heating . . . I could go on in this vein for a while.

The state of West Virginia. We barely missed the official 'do not use' water from the spill. We live in between Huntington and Charleston, the two cities named most miserable in the US by a recent Gallup poll.

The job market. Not capable of supporting us paying rent, which was why we've been living in a place that doesn't have it.

The state of us. Three of us have mental and/or physical issues rendering us incapable of jobs. The local mental health options for the poverty stricken are . . . well, I talked about changing my medication and got told it would mean automatic drug testing first, and then mandatory random drug testing after. That's when I'm listened to.

We are therefore moving our asses out of here, across the country, to Washington state. Why there? Well, for starters, we have Family out there. And friends. And the minimum wage is higher there. And the unemployemnt is lower. And it's liberal. And the area we're looking at has only a slightly higher COL than here. And the water's safe to drink.

Really, it's that last one that drives it home.

This is going to take us shredding every resource we have available. And it's still going to be . . . yeah.


Originally posted by [personal profile] louisadkins at Your Attention, Please?
(X-Posted to Dreamwidth and Facebook)

Ladies and Gentlebeings, I direct those of you at the back of the tent to move closer, so everyone can see the display. We're moving, but we need some help getting there. Please take a moment to read up on it, and contribute if you can. Either way, I would appreciate a signal boost from as many people as possible. Thanks, all!

Click here to go to the fundraiser page.

This entry was originally posted at http://nonny.dreamwidth.org/513441.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

[Unfiltered] B&N Rant

I posted a version of this on FB. I figured it probably deserved to be posted here, too, because I cannot be the only one having these issues. I'm revising it a bit because, well, Facebook isn't exactly meant for long posts... you can do them, but I doubt very many people click the "see more" link, if they even see it (at least, I've missed it more than once).

I think most folks know I have a Nook. I've, er, been a little evangelistic about it in the past. >_> Morgan and I were gifted with our first Nook Color back in 2008 when the rheumatoid arthritis that we both have hit Morgan's hands hard enough that they literally could not hold up a book to read anymore. I have similar problems with my hands, although I can read YA in print (... y'know, unless it's a doorstopper like some of the Harry Potter books), but any adult romance or SFF was right out. My own Nook Color followed suit, and I bought a Nook HD+ last year, which I'm starting to regret having purchased the 3yr warranty for.

However... for the past several months, I have been having issues when trying to purchase e-books. Often, BN.com will not let me log in (I'll put my username and password into the log-in, and it just... won't log me in). That's been happening since September or so, and I was able to get around that by going to the Nook-specific page on BN.com and logging in... but even that doesn't work half the time now. Something else that started in December is that clicking the "Buy Now" button will not bring up the pop up to purchase. I have confirmed this is not an error with my computer, as it has happened under multiple OSes and multiple browsers. I have run into about five unique types of errors, and I have friends who have been experiencing the same. BN support is useless; they have no idea and try to tell me it's my computer. DX

Some months ago, B&N updated so you can use the Google Play store (at least on the Nook HD+, I cannot say for the other devices) which includes the Kindle app. (ETA : I have just been informed this was a temporary glitch and you can no longer add the Kindle App on Nook unless it is rooted. Well, fuck me if I ever have to wipe and reinstall.) I have really avoided buying books from Amazon, because they are the elephant in the living room when it comes to digital book sales. I'll admit I also have an emotional attachment to B&N. My childhood was wretched in a lot of ways but all of my family are huge readers. Monthly trips to B&N or Borders were special, because while we normally made lists of books we wanted to check out and see if the library had (considering that we usually walked out with lists of 20+ books between the 4 of us... it was kinda necessary), but we also always got to pick out one book to take home. More if we chose to spend allowance money. So, I have happy fuzzy warm feelings with B&N.

But... the way they have handled e-books is truly abysmal. I mean, the site issues that mean I can't buy except from my device directly (and even that doesn't always work; I've gotten errors there, too, and if I want more than one book, finger typing the author name and title is annoying.), which is definitely a problem. Add to that, we had a BN membership for years, but they seem to offer less and less. There's I believe a discount on print books bought in stores, and there's free shipping for books bought online, but nothing for digital books. Unless I've missed it, there's nothing to incentivise readers to go into their stores and purchase digital books in store. Some of our favorite restaurants are up by our local B&N, and if they had something like that, we'd totally go in, use the store as a showroom, and buy online. We also almost always get stuff from the Starbucks in the B&N, too. We spent a not insignificant amount of time and money in the store, that they have completely lost. I mean, I understood why they didn't have anything like that when agency pricing was a thing, but now that it's gone, they're still sticking with the same old model. *headdesk*

(Edit for people who don't know what agency pricing is: this was a collusion between the Big 5 NY publishers and Apple to price fix books to prevent Amazon from discounting. If you really want some schadenfreude, look up the case, it's... look, I couldn't write fiction like this because nobody would believe people could be so stupid. All the pubs settled, and there have been many discounts, but Amazon still has an average lower price and more frequent discounts.)

The same old model is not going to work, and it doesn't seem like their stores are doing all that well, either, what with the plans for store closures, and that they are winnowing away books bit by bit. I don't go into a bookstore to buy kitschy knick-knacks, I go in to buy books. You know. These things.

Since I haven't been able to buy books on BN.com reliably for months, I've gone over to Amazon since I can read them with the Kindle app. I was shocked to find on a regular basis that books were $2-4 cheaper. I read a lot of YA, and BN would price them at $9.99-13.99 ... Amazon, $9.99 is the highest I've seen, with exceptions for niche stuff, and often they are lower. I see discounts a lot, and I don't mean necessarily the super-low 99c or $2.99, but $3 or so off the list price. $2-4 savings on a book is a really big deal when I often buy multiple books at a go.

What really struck me today though was Amazon's also-bought. I have heard good things about it from indie authors but I haven't really used it as a reader, not since I was a teen looking for new SFF. I went to pick up one book... and ended up picking up seven or eight, multiple by indie authors, because they popped up on the also-boughts (all steampunk, with the exception of a gothic romance set in Victorian England, which is close enough). BN's also-bought is... well. Flipping awful. I've had their also-bought pop up with books that aren't even in the same genre. (And I don't mean science fiction instead of fantasy, I mean stuff like religious non fiction when the book I was looking at was an urban fantasy demon hunter novel. WTF??)

I feel almost like I'm doing something "wrong" by "betraying" BN, but I know that's ridiculous. I've stuck with it a long way, probably longer than most people, and... well, WTF am I supposed to do if their site is so screwed up that I can't actually buy the book. I'm not going rah-rah Amazon, because I do have concerns about monopolies, but at the same time, their customer experience is a hell of a lot better than I can say for B&N right now. And I save money on books, which means I can buy... more books... wait, what is this "savings account" that you speak of? >_>

Much <3 to anyone who managed to read through this novel of a post... lol (and yeah, I know, I know, it took me this long to figure it out...)

This entry was originally posted at http://nonny.dreamwidth.org/513234.html. Please comment there using OpenID.


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